Admission

Hello dear readers,

Often you see me post about abstract ideas or feelings. Ramblings of thoughts and extensions to my mind’s addled ministrations. Rarely do I share the personal goings of my life.

I’ll admit something.
About half a year ago, I cheated on someone I was dating. It was wrong of me. We all have regrets, and this is mine. I need to admit it and acknowledge that it was me and my actions, so that I can better put it behind me and never repeat it. I want to put this out there, mostly for me in the future, to know I admitted it publicly (not just here, but in my social circle).

I used to think I was a good person, but now that isn’t quite justified. I hope to slowly earn that back. I did something terrible, and I won’t ever do it again. I’m giving myself a second chance, though I don’t know if others will.

Thank you for reading, dear readers.

Passion

Many of us remember our teens, or are currently experiencing them. I remember having feelings that were so strong, so passionate that sometimes I couldn’t take it. I loved more, hated more, feared more, and was so unsure of how I could deal with the world around me.

But some of us forget. Some of us question why teens have to be so dramatic, and say their feelings are blown out of proportion. To that, I say – never treat someone else’s feelings as less than what they are. That is a quick way to lose their trust, make them question if they’re important, and hurt them. This doesn’t just apply to teens; you should never invalidate anyone’s feelings.

Passion, drama, love, unfairness, confusion, fear – it’s a huge mixed bag of emotions as people grow up. But a part of me thinks: What if we aren’t losing passion by growing up? What if we let ourselves lose it? What if it’s just so painful people let go? Perhaps that is why first loves feel so special; it’s when we’ve had almost no time to have our passion lessened.

I will try my best to keep passion in my life. I hope you do the same. Don’t just remember what you did as teens – embrace the memories and the feelings.

A Message from Long, Long Ago

I’ve decided to share with you guys some more things, more than just stories or poems. Here’s a private message I sent to a girl I had fallen for a couple years ago, on a forum – we had a long-distance relationship that ultimately failed. It’s going to be a bit out of context for you guys, but I tried to choose one that would be enough of a standalone for you to understand it.

I’m sorry, for the little ‘tantrum’ I had early in my other reply. It was all probably a social miscommunication, and it’s entirely my fault. I don’t want you to be upset or hurt or anything, but if you are/were, please don’t tell me “It’s okay” or “It’s fine”. You’re a wondrous person and I love talking to you and we mesh together and my heart goes out for you and I think you’re pretty and lovely and sweet and determined to do things once you set your mind on them. I could edit out what I posted in my other reply, and just replace it with me calmly asking something about what happened accidentally to cause you to lose some of your message. But I won’t, because that would essentially be lying. And I won’t lie to you. I won’t. I want to keep the balance, the great thing we’ve had, and not let it go at all just because I’m a stupidhead. Again, I’m sorry. I just… 

I just feel the tiniest bit better, knowing I could apologize when it’s needed. It hasn’t been needed form me in so long, and you’re special to me, so of course you’d be the one to get my heartfelt apology…. You know what? I’m being conceited. An apology isn’t where you make yourself feel better, but offer your head on a pike to the other person. And so I give you my head. *passes pike forward*

Sincerely,
Adam.

And that’s it. I’m not trying to tell you something really important with this post, just to give you a look into who I was back then. And maybe I’m similar now. 🙂

Something about me: My name is Adam, and I used to be a lot more dramatic than I am now. Take care, dear readers! Thank you for giving me some of your time.