Desperation and Love

You want to be perfect. You want their love. You want to love them and be you and not feel guilty for it. So you try to change yourself, you try things you wouldn’t otherwise, you say things and you feel a little weird about it, but then you get their approval or their smile and everything is okay again. But by the end of it, whether it be a week, a month, a year later, you’ve changed. You’re different and now your friends are gone, or distant, or angry. But it’s okay because who needs them anyway? You’ve got your special someone.

And they let go of you. You try to argue, you try to say “but I’ve done everything for you!” and they say “I’m just not feeling it anymore” or “It wasn’t enough” or maybe even they blame it on you. Maybe any number of things happened. You’re angry, but worse, you’re confused. You’re not sure who you are anymore, and you don’t know where to go from here.

This is where you decide who you are. This is where you learn that some things, you just will not compromise. This is where you learn it is okay to say no. It’s okay and if they don’t respect it, it’s on them. Who are they to force something on you? Whether it be weed, alcohol, a new food, anything.

That’s not to say you can’t go Why not? and try something new. But don’t compromise your values for no good reason. Remember your own boundaries, and hope that the people you meet respect them.

Passion

Many of us remember our teens, or are currently experiencing them. I remember having feelings that were so strong, so passionate that sometimes I couldn’t take it. I loved more, hated more, feared more, and was so unsure of how I could deal with the world around me.

But some of us forget. Some of us question why teens have to be so dramatic, and say their feelings are blown out of proportion. To that, I say – never treat someone else’s feelings as less than what they are. That is a quick way to lose their trust, make them question if they’re important, and hurt them. This doesn’t just apply to teens; you should never invalidate anyone’s feelings.

Passion, drama, love, unfairness, confusion, fear – it’s a huge mixed bag of emotions as people grow up. But a part of me thinks: What if we aren’t losing passion by growing up? What if we let ourselves lose it? What if it’s just so painful people let go? Perhaps that is why first loves feel so special; it’s when we’ve had almost no time to have our passion lessened.

I will try my best to keep passion in my life. I hope you do the same. Don’t just remember what you did as teens – embrace the memories and the feelings.