A puppeteer is putting on a puppet show. He’s a magic puppeteer, and can put real souls into his puppets, giving them feelings and lives and personalities. He does this for all but one puppet. This puppet interacts with the other puppets, but he’s played from the perspective of the puppeteer. The puppeteer always has to think about what this puppet would do before he actually does it.
Someone who lives in the moment, without trying to be ‘meta’ and very self aware about their life, would be one of those puppets who obtained lives of their own.
But I am like the puppeteer. I see the puppet show for what it is, and think about my role in it before I act. I feel separated from what’s happening. When I watch movies, it’s a chance to get immersed in a world for once, since I don’t immerse myself fully into this one. When I act, I don’t just do what I feel is right; I step back and ask what’s right, then I decide what’s right is what’s best for everyone involved, I define that, then I put myself back in and do that. It’s not my feelings that define me.
I tried being more feelings-based, though. And I made bad decisions. And maybe that isn’t necessarily a sign for me to stop.
Overall, I think how I am is fine, but I think I need to play my part more, instead of sharing my thoughts so much.
Thoughts and Productions of a Man who Tries 