This is just a collection of thoughts students could learn at earlier years in Education.

  1. Linear Algebra
  2. Sum and Product Notation (∑ and Π)
  3. Programming (all types; web development, app development, etc)
  4. Languages
  5. Statistics and Probability
  6. History
  7. Psychology, Sociology
  8. Graphic Design & Arts
  9. ‘Adulting’:
    1. Understand how insurance works
    2. Understand how taxes work and how to do them
    3. How the healthcare industry works (what types of doctors are there, how to find cutting edge technology for your health needs)
    4. Demystifying myths, or mythbusting (how to find original sources of information, PubMed, scholarly articles, etc)
    5. Understand how civilization works and why it’s better than the alternative
    6. Farming, cooking, building, woodworking, sewing, knitting

Puppets in our own lives

Posted: October 29, 2017 in thoughts
Tags: , , , ,

A puppeteer is putting on a puppet show. He’s a magic puppeteer, and can put real souls into his puppets, giving them feelings and lives and personalities. He does this for all but one puppet. This puppet interacts with the other puppets, but he’s played from the perspective of the puppeteer. The puppeteer always has to think about what this puppet would do before he actually does it.

Someone who lives in the moment, without trying to be ‘meta’ and very self aware about their life, would be one of those puppets who obtained lives of their own.

But I am like the puppeteer. I see the puppet show for what it is, and think about my role in it before I act. I feel separated from what’s happening. When I watch movies, it’s a chance to get immersed in a world for once, since I don’t immerse myself fully into this one. When I act, I don’t just do what I feel is right; I step back and ask what’s right, then I decide what’s right is what’s best for everyone involved, I define that, then I put myself back in and do that. It’s not my feelings that define me.

I tried being more feelings-based, though. And I made bad decisions. And maybe that isn’t necessarily a sign for me to stop.

Overall, I think how I am is fine, but I think I need to play my part more, instead of sharing my thoughts so much.

Hello, dear readers.

Is there worth in being unique?

We speak of uniqueness highly, as if it is something to strive to. Yet many of us feared being viewed as outcasts when we were young, and wanted to conform and be ‘normal’ relative to our peers. Wouldn’t we want a more unified sense of community with voluntary conformity? The more distinct the people are, the less likely the community can agree, and dissent follows.

So, then, what is the worth of being unique?

Is it the Deontological idea that, in fact, we should pride ourselves on our uniqueness? That there is an inherent worth in being unique? Though that can be a stance to hold onto, this is not the one I take. It is too easy to poke holes into this idea. There are certain forms of uniqueness that most people can agree are wrong to have, such as having a tendency to kill people, mistreat their friends, or abuse children. Priding yourself on being unique in any way does not fit, then, with societal culture; those with unique yet ‘criminal’ quirks are punished in society. Yet is priding one’s self on culturally/socially acceptable uniqueness really what we think of when we think of an inherent value to being unique? No, I doubt it.

What of utilitarianism? Is there value and utility in being unique? An initial argument may suggest that a varied population is good, because of the current trend in specialization. Different people have different skills, and they can focus on providing value for their communities and society through that more effectively than some others would in their place. Yet in other ways we wish to reduce uniqueness; we want everyone to be fed, to be clothed, housed, educated. Again, there are some forms of uniqueness that are unacceptable in a utilitarian perspective. I argue, however, that all forms of uniqueness will (eventually) be useless from a utilitarian perspective, in terms of maximizing utility. In particular, as technology progresses, we will have the ability to mass educate people very effectively – perhaps through implants in the brain. We will also have the technology to allow people to be stronger and faster, whether it be through cybernetic or genetic enhancements. We could reasonably, within two or three hundred years, enable a population to have all the skills people can have. We could give people the understanding of all fields and the physical makeup/enhancements to excel at all physical activities we do nowadays. This is the context (the thought experiment, if you will) from which I make my arguments; I will assume that our technology will progress in such a way, giving way to an ‘ideal’ world I have described above. Now, in terms of happiness and suffering, all forms of physical suffering and suffering from ignorance could be minimized, if not eradicated. Meanwhile, uniqueness will be minimized. Whatever one excels at or discovers, the information will be passed on to everyone else; new discoveries in the sciences will be communicated instantly to everyone in the world, and we’ll have the processing power to understand it. We may choose to perform different actions in our day-to-day lives, but the progress made for one person can and may be shared with everyone else. Is this society of healthy, brilliant individuals not a good one? For pure utilitarianism, I would argue that it is. However, pure utilitarianism would say an equally valid approach to a society is to put everyone in sensory-stimulation tanks that keep them extremely happy all the time. Needless to say, if our only goal is to maximize current happiness with the tools available, we may not have chosen the optimal path.

Preference utilitarianism, on the other hand, may provide a case for uniqueness. This comes from the fact that people tend to have different preferences, goals, and interests. If we did end up having the technology to pursue some sort of hive-mind-like existence where we share all knowledge and physical ability, there will still be a preference for more discovery. Discovery of the unknown will be the only real mystery left, and there are many avenues for such discovery. Thus, people can pursue differing means of discovery; some may go explore other planets, while others seek to understand the depths of the ocean. Some may continue to try and understand exactly how the brain others, and others may try to revive extinct species. Though any knowledge they gain would end up being shared by all, their actions would still be different. One person would want to be a medical researcher; even if what they discover is shared with everyone that night, it isn’t having the knowledge that makes the person unique; it is being the one to discover it. Ownership of discovery and progress in the world could end up being the way to identify uniqueness. Is there worth in being unique in that regard? With preference utilitarianism, I would argue yes. Individuals can achieve uniqueness by following their goals/preferences. By achieving uniqueness through those means, individuals then can experience pride and happiness.

Yet that is not the only kind of uniqueness one can have in a post-scarcity society. There is still the possibility of having aesthetic uniqueness; self-expression through your looks. I will argue that ‘aesthetic uniqueness’ in terms of physical looks could end up serving a purpose, at least in terms of utilitarianism. Supposing we are to maximize the amount of peoples’ preferences that become fulfilled, there is indeed room for aesthetic uniqueness. Supposing it does not interfere with one’s work and role in society, one can have preferences to look different from others and further gain a sense of distinctness and identity. A caveat is that one may gain a sense of identity from appearing different from others, but as we have seen from history, people looking different is often translated into them being different; and being different is then translated into being inferior. I will dismiss this notion, as I suppose that in this more advanced and knowledgeable society, every person will be able to distinguish the fact that how one looks does not make them inferior inherently.

Virtue ethics is an interesting case. I will argue that virtue ethics actually supports conformity. Suppose we are to work to be virtuous people. In order to learn what a virtuous person is, we refer to people commonly accepted as virtuous. We then emulate their virtuousness in our own lives, which limits our uniqueness. Ideally, virtue ethics wishes for the whole world to be full of virtuous people. Ironically, a case for uniqueness does present itself; how can one be sure they are virtuous without non-virtuous people to compare one’s self to? That interpretation suggests that the ‘uniqueness’ that should be embraced is to not be virtuous, so that virtuous people can better learn how to be virtuous from a counterexample. I will dismiss this notion, however, because it does not seem sensible from a moral standpoint to support people being the opposite of virtuous. Furthermore, one does not necessarily need a counterexample to virtuousness in order to know how to be virtuous.

How does one even be unique? What comes to mind can be personality traits and quirks, as well as odd or uncommon physical traits. Does uniqueness come from within or without? Does one identify themselves as unique, or is one’s uniqueness determined by others’ perceptions of that person? Perhaps that’s a topic for another time…


Tidbit about me: I try to make other people realize how unique we all are. Even if that means exaggerating about others sometimes. It’s fun to see my friends all think of Diego as a playboy even when he doesn’t actually try to be that way, haha.

Hello dear readers,

Often you see me post about abstract ideas or feelings. Ramblings of thoughts and extensions to my mind’s addled ministrations. Rarely do I share the personal goings of my life.

I’ll admit something.
About half a year ago, I cheated on someone I was dating. It was wrong of me. We all have regrets, and this is mine. I need to admit it and acknowledge that it was me and my actions, so that I can better put it behind me and never repeat it. I want to put this out there, mostly for me in the future, to know I admitted it publicly (not just here, but in my social circle).

I used to think I was a good person, but now that isn’t quite justified. I hope to slowly earn that back. I did something terrible, and I won’t ever do it again. I’m giving myself a second chance, though I don’t know if others will.

Thank you for reading, dear readers.

Posted: August 24, 2017 in thoughts, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

“One day you will realize

The stars that you are chasing

Shine bright deep inside you

But will you ever let it shine from within, and cast

All your fears aside?”

Dearly Beloved

We chase stars for their light, never realizing we hold a light inside ourselves. We just need to give it a chance, let it flicker into life. We look to others for guidance, not realizing just how much we can do for ourselves. I believe in us.

I spent much of my younger life learning what not to do. I saw the consequences of drinking, smoking, drugs firsthand, and decided to not do that. I saw the consequences of fighting among couples and told myself to never be a part of that.

A big part of my adult life was learning who I could be. Silly, philosophical, scientific, I could be lots of things.

More importantly, I’m learning how to find and have my own light, to lead me through the darkness.

Giddy

Posted: August 24, 2017 in Poem
Tags: , , , ,

When I see her message,
When I read her words,
When I know she’s smiling,
I’m giddy

It’s hard to miss
The way her laughter lights up the room
And steals the air
But maybe it’s just me

Yet I say goodnight
I’m afraid to spoil it
By talking too much,
Overstaying my welcome

Does it make sense?
I suppose not, given
The distance
But the giddiness remains

Is it her history?
Rich and unique
With roleplaying and travel and game addiction
With similarities to my own history?

Is it her silliness?
Her willingness to be
Outlandish, extravagant, spontaneous
Fearless in public?

Is it her storytelling?
Her ability to craft worlds,
Politics, people, stories
Such that I am enchanted?

Is it her voice?
Her laugh,
Her smile,
The twinkling of her eyes in amusement?

Is it her curiosity?
Her questioning of the things I do
The sincere want to get to know
A person such as I?

Is it her words?
Her large, sprawling messages
Reminiscent of an earlier time
When every letter was memorable?

Is it her kindness?
Her consideration for others
Willing to guide and push people
To the greatness they could achieve?

Is it her actions?
Trying to one-up me with
Proclamations of love,
Improvised songs, recited poetry?

Is it her ambition?
Is it her independence?
Is it her very nature?
Is it her soul?

I don’t know why
Or if it’s alright
But sometimes, she makes me feel
Giddy

Is ignorance really bliss?

There are some who live in the moment. People who thrive in partaking in events themselves. Then there are others who reflect not on the events themselves, but what they mean. Take, for example, going to a party. Someone may enjoy the party itself, but another person may think about all the effort it took to get people together and individually bringing snacks, drinks, food, etc. This person would be awed at the details surrounding the party and the consequences of it, rather than the event itself.

Both types of people are acceptable. I’m the latter. I’ll be doing a physics charades game with students and wonder at how we got ourselves in this situation, marvel at the meaning of it. That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a deeper thinker than the person who enjoys the event itself.

But let’s apply this line of thought to other things. When making certain choices, I think not just of this decision – but how it’ll affect my morals/ethical code, and a few other things. I experience self-doubt. I constantly question myself. Is that what I really think, or am I just tired? Maybe I’m experiencing confirmation bias. Thoughts like that plague my mind a lot. But the real question I’m addressing in this point is – does that affect my happiness?

Take, for example, a relationship. Maybe I’m texting my S.O., and I get the urge to do it a lot during the day. Do I give in? Should I listen to my feelings and do it? What if she thinks I’m desperate or clingy? More subtle than that, what if communicating with her a lot makes our average interaction less exciting? Those are thoughts that have drifted through my head countless times. I ask myself if I’m doing the right thing. If I text her a bunch, I worry. If I don’t text her a bunch, am I limiting my happiness?

Someone who lives more in the moment with less worries would just text as he/she pleased. Without the worries, you can argue that he/she is happier. And maybe that’s the case. But am I, then, unhappy?

No. Despite questioning the morality of my choices and experiencing self-doubt, I’m still happy. I like to think it’s because of how much I grill myself. I can better trust myself to make good decisions if I’m questioning myself constantly. I’m on average very satisfied with the decisions I make.

I trust myself because I doubt myself. I’m reading a book, called Quiet, and the author addresses a lot of studies where more confidence is correlated with being smarter and a better leader. Perhaps I wouldn’t be viewed as the greatest leader if I didn’t project confidence.

Of course, there are some situations where I’m overconfident. but they’re generally not moral dilemmas.

Thanks for reading my ramble!


Tidbit about me: I was overconfident this summer about a research project, and have been appropriately humbled.

“So you left with nothing more than a reason you kept silent
And my mind would riot stuck in self-perpetuated mental violence and dreams kept private”

“And that’s fine because I would do the same and I would leave me
Not because I’m useless and not because I’m broken
Not because I’m sad and not because I’m worthless
But because I saw value in your smile and not in your values”

Nothing Was The Same is a song by Hotel Books that explores someone coming to terms with a breakup. He explores his own flaws and ends up wishing his love well, because he didn’t value her, but the look of her, the idea of her. He’s not making a poetic statement about being broken, or useless. He’s saying that he wasn’t ready to love her, as he was still too enamored by the idea of loving. And that comes out when he says,

“I was selfish to assume you loved me more than you love yourself
Even though I never felt the same”

He wanted love, he loved the idea of love, but that doesn’t mean he loved her.

“I spent so much time convincing myself that the rest of this mess that I stressed within this relationship was a product of the world’s oppressions
Not my deep desire to be needed
And it’s hard to admit but I guess I’ve come to terms with the fact that I just want to be needed”

And it’s okay to want to be needed. But you can’t let that feeling enable you to try and control or change the other person. You can’t rely on that other person for your own needs. In other parts of the song, he mentions his need to feel important, and ignoring any thought that his love would leave him. He was so selfish in that relationship, and so self-assured that she would stay, that he took her for granted. He’d rather keep her and try to change her than risk going unloved for awhile.

I’ve had my fair share of relationships, but I still have things to learn from others’ mistakes, on top of my own. I suppose I wanted to share some of these lyrics since they resounded with me – at least the me that existed a couple years ago.

Under the guise of love, the biasing lenses of affection, there is so much we forgive and delight in others. But when that initial rush fades, are you still enamored by your significant other? Were you in love with him, or with love? We cling onto our hopes and dreams desperately wanting them to be reality, ignoring evidence to the contrary. That’s called confirmation bias, by the way.

All this rambling leads up to something, I swear! I don’t trust in the initial rush of love/affection as much anymore, but it’s nice to have it. I have to be aware of how it biases my thoughts. Maybe couples who were friends for awhile first have an advantage; they hung around with their S.O. even when they weren’t enamored with them, so they know that they don’t need to be feeling affection and love just to spend time with each other. I’m sure plenty of married couples have had weeks or even months where the couple was no more than friends – roommates, even. If they don’t treat each other well during those times, it’s easy to dissolve a relationship/marriage. But if they’re companionable nonetheless? Then they’ll survive.

I suppose I’m just worried about establishing habits and mindsets that will lead to a stable long-term relationship. I’m taking it for granted that there will be times where the (romantic) love and attraction won’t be there. That doesn’t mean a relationship is over. No – in fact, there’s where your commitment is really tested.

That’s what commitment is, isn’t it? Upholding your words and promises even when you don’t feel it anymore.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tidbit about me: I’m actually a big fan of all this sad music, from Hotel Books to La Dispute to A Lot Like Birds.

I walk in the front door, letting it shut behind me. It’s only been a few weeks since we’ve moved in together, so my heart still stutters with the thought that she could be here, waiting for me. I’d gotten back later than usual from work, so I expected to see her. “Dear?” I cautiously ask the wind.

“Over here!” her voice responds from the living room, and a smile blossoms on my face. I set down my coat and shoes, before meandering over to where I heard her voice coming from. I amble in to see her folding some clothes. On further investigation, these weren’t just hers, but mine as well.

“You know you don’t need to do that,” I say as I encircle her with my arms. She closes her eyes and leans back, turning her head so she can breathe me in.

“I know,” she breathed into me, “but I like doing things for you,” she glanced up at my eyes, “just like you do for me.” I squeeze her, and she pecks me. “Also, it’s your turn for dinner,” she teasingly said, and I laughed. Should’ve seen that one coming!

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

Since I haven’t done one in a while, here’s a tidbit about me: I can make pizza pancakes, my own special recipe!

Sometimes we get ourselves into situations we didn’t foresee, that test our loyalty in ways we weren’t ready for. This can create moral ambiguities. For example, like a situation I’ve seen in plenty of novels: your spouse dies, and years have passed, and you start a new family or new relationship. However, it turns out your spouse did not really die. Suddenly when he/she shows up on your doorstep, having finally found his/her way back to you, what do you do?

Do you abandon your current relationship? Do you stay?

My own moral framework currently has no good answer for that type of situation. “It’d depend on my feelings”, perhaps I’d say. As it is, I’ve probably made promises of loyalty to the new person when I thought the old promises of loyalty were now redundant. So “stick to your promises” doesn’t work.

Another thing I’ve been thinking about is accountability. Are people held accountable enough for their actions? We’re shy, fearful of righting our wrongs. Why? Are we afraid of our wrongs being seen by more people when we apologize or take the blame? Are we afraid of accepting that we were wrong? Are we afraid of hurting more people?

Take the hypothetical above. It’s a morally ambiguous situation. Do you then say “I can’t be held responsible for the consequences of my choice, because “there is no right answer””?

The answer is no, in my opinion. You made a choice and you still need to accept that you’ve probably hurt people. Moreover, take responsibility – sure, it was a tough choice, but you’re still directly responsible for hurting someone with your decision, so own up to it and see if you can make it better while maintaining your integrity.

There are so many things wrong in the world, and one of them is people not taking responsibility enough for their actions. Just take responsibility. Hold yourself accountable. Otherwise, you give up the idea that you hold any power over your own life.